"He Can Get it": Desires vs (Faux) Morals

I had a small get together at my home. My brother walked in and an attractive woman casually passed the comment, "He can get it." What she meant wasn't implied. She was full frontal in her subjective. My brother just had to make himself available and she would have sex with him. Or maybe not. My guess is if my brother was blunt to her with his sexual intentions, honesty would regress to games. The game isn't her intention. It is learned. Women are raised  to lead double lives - the woman she is vs the woman she is suppose to be as defined by society. The attractive woman spoke her mind. She was being herself. She expressed her desires but societal norm rules that the desire is not a woman's place. Suppress the devilment and let the man pursue.

I have found it unsettling that some women want to be mentally and physically dominated during sex. My participation is hesitant and minimal. Even when I think I'm being aggressive, I'm being sensual. I mistake the domination of her to be humiliation but for her, it may be a release. Societal norms have no jurisdiction in the bedroom. There's excitement in the illicit. When women have opportunities to exercise their desires, boredom is not an option. Safety is consciousness while my hand is on her neck. Pain isn't deep thrusts or huge sweeping swings of my hand on her ass. Pain is no orgasm. Pain is never succumbing to dark desires. Pain is not bowing at her alter, consequently not redefining sex to become a ritual. Pain is being surprised by her dirty talk instead of acting accordingly.

I'm an accomplice to the double standard, not in belief but in my behavior. I'm relatively shy so I enjoy when a woman makes the 1st, 2nd and 3rd move. I can follow all day and night while still setting a passionate tone. I'm an accomplice when a woman is fiercely secure with her power. My iron doesn't sharper her iron. Most men won't get any play if they tell a woman, "Let's fuck." Outside of a context of consent, "Let's Fuck" is abrasive, rude, disrespectful but somehow, not unacceptable. It's still men taking the lead. If a woman told me, "Let's fuck," I would shrink. Instead of replying, "you fucking right, let's fuck," I would be surprised and hesitant. She's not normal. Double standard.

Women use similar language but they use it in gestures, in dress, in subtle movements yet we as men usually miss all the cues. Why? It's not normal. Men also believe in societal norms. Men wrote them and conditioned women to approve.  

The above photo is Santi Joy. In between wardrobe changes, she walked in my home nude. She said, "I hope you don't mind me walking around naked in your house... I will anyway." She wasn't bullshittin'. In my double standard, I didn't allow myself to look directly at her in between photos. I wasn't being the wise, professional photographer. I was shrinking in the presence of a strong woman. Santi Joy doesn't adhere to societal norms of morality and sexuality. Her spirit and energy have no defined standards. She moves with the universe - totally ignoring man made restraints. She is not normal. Her erotic art is for sale. She has multiple social media outlets and a personal website. Surprisingly to me, many of her detractors are women. The male detractors get abrupt responses that easily cut them off. The female detractors are more difficult because there's no sisterhood in conditioning. There's no sisterhood in morality.

Though not the usual route, she wants to use her art as inspiration to other women to embrace their true selves. Santi Joy embraces her "mom body." The stretch marks; the sagging breasts, the stress in her eyes are all evidence of her power and sincerity. Why should she cover and accept the arrows of those who tell her that her body is not worth displaying? I caught an illicit glance of her ass... Damn. Not only are women suppressing their sexual desires but there are men who will label Santi Joy a hoe and immoral to suppress their sexual desire towards her.