Conversation


I needed test shots with the lighting I've yet to set up and use. If procrastination is a form of anxiety, I need to see a therapist. I thought of my good friend Ivy because her bubbly and inquisitive personality would get us through the test session. She also has mad pretty eyes and a smile you'd hope a friend would have. She was receptive but had to check her schedule. Ivy is a pediatric nurse - the HNIC of the department at Touro hospital. A 40-something-year-old with a preteen and two teens, Ivy's windows are small but she carved out time for me. 


Our photo session became a two hour conversation. Ivy always has plenty of conversation as opposed to my nil. Not a balance but I try to keep up because she's interesting. She's hyper intelligent yet she has the curiosity of a child. She dives deep for answers. Surface quips are not enough for her. Most importantly, she talks with care and interest. As she's staring out the window watching my neighbors... being nothing but nosey, I can only smile because she reminds me of the women who raised me within the neighborhood. Ivy is an old soul from that village of giving and maternal women. 


Ivy is an Ursuline Academy and LSU nursing school graduate. She's in the clutches of an acrimonious divorce from an attorney. His extreme narcissism has led her to believe there's some PTSD in her soul. She's pressed that her ancestry.com results stated she's only 8% African. Her girlfriends now tease her that she can no longer attend Essence Festival which she responds with, "Fuck you." I joked she has to be darker than a paper bag. Ivy calls white people she doesn't like ofay. I don't think my grandmother was old enough to say ofay so the ancestry.com results stung. She's super proud that her oldest son is a St. Augustine student. She's still salty that a certain New Orleans Council Member left his wife for a white woman and she teases me about graduating from Jesuit. Wait... did you graduate from Ursuline? 
"Nobody likes Jesuit."


Ivy mentioned that she was getting surgery. She's getting a gastric sleeve. She saw concern on my face because I immediately thought of Kanye West's mom dying from complications due to a similar surgery. I then thought of a former co-worker who had the surgery and is thriving. We talked about her. We talked about the reason for the decision to have surgery. The simple conclusion is she's close to 50 years old and she doesn't want to go into those years overweight and struggling with her health.  


She's tired of the weight. She's hoping that the surgery will bring discipline to her eating habits. She eats for comfort. Who doesn't? I explained weight lose doesn't all have to be about exercise and diet. I still crave a Big Mac and fries but I don't indulge because the smell triggers nausea. McDonald's and Wendy's have a processed food smell I can no longer bypass. It physically makes me ill. My belief is that her estranged husband has been the trigger to her mental and physical stress. Only this year have I heard Ivy not say husband when addressing him. He's now just a man she wants out of her personal life. He controlled much of her adult life. She understands she needs to be more active. Being unaware of the excess weight is not the issue. She now has weight goals, diet goals and activity goals. The surgery will be a start. The surgery is a bit of freedom. For some women, freedom is getting their hair cut short. Ivy's experienced that freedom also but it's not nearly enough. 



   





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